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Nowadays, it is only natural for the father to go into the parent's room and participate in the baby's activities. But what if the reverse is true for us?"No diapers, no nourishment, no baths," says Anita Mandbnny Molnárr, who has a two-year-old baby boy, Erik at home, and an even-aged baby, Liza is a little boy. "These are all things that are unequivocally decided, saying it's a mother's job. And Laci is a very good dad, and she cares a lot about children. Bar always says, and then she can really become a father if the kids are big enough play football, cheer on your favorite handball team, or watch motor racing. "While talking to the playmaker, Laci, Daddy for a second loses sight of the kids, he swings his swings, he needs his memory. Not the type who sits down on the edge of the sandbox to push his phone, and Anita confirms this. It's a little while before they finish the game, Liza wins, runs to the studs so I can ask Laci after all.
"I like to be out there a lot more with the kids, so I feel like I'm not adapting to them, but I need them to, and it's easier to handle them," the father begins. "At home, I feel a lot of suffering between the four walls. So many of the games that we don't know what to do are always doing something that you are not allowed to do. You don't go out there doing it don't open it. If I take care of them, I'd rather take them out for a walk or visit them with the dude, "says Laci, who also sincerely talks about the activities in Babylon.
"It's also true that the kaki doesn't have a very fragrant scent, but I'd rather leave it to Anita because I feel like she's better suited to it. So if she's near, she doesn't have to do it. Not only are I working at me and I need to relax myself, ja it solves team warming much faster, and my child is used to getting up at night. I tried to get it back, but I didn't succeed. we also push things - adds Laci, who thinks there are classically women and men's tasks. "
Who can arroul if the father passes?
Let's learn to be a father!
When the father didn't help enoughThere are a lot of mothers who can, with confidence, patience, persecution, make sure that fathers have a good life and can change fatherhood from time to time. "It has to be noted that men are not as born parents as we women are, since they are largely passive," explains dr. Battonyai Tünde is a psychiatrist. "When a baby is born, the baby has nine months of benefit to the father in the marriage. But with that, we lose the opportunity for the father to try himself at all, and because of the criticism, even the remainder will go away, and he will never get routine. " "It also helped a lot to get our dad involved during the pregnancy, for example, going to ultrasound, examining, preparing. If we put the baby together, it will be much easier for her after childbirth."
Of course, it matters a lot about the family pattern, how much grandparents are supported, and how friends take on their paternal responsibilities. But you must also know that nothing is etched in stone. "My experience is that paternal attitudes are very malleable and can change at any time," says the psychiatrist. "There are incalculable factors to childbirth. Dad may initially think he won't go to his parents' room, and he will change his mind. treat your father as an equal partner and give you the opportunity to try out yourself. "
When the man goes pregnant
"I appreciate mothers who only deal with children for many years. And it's true, even though I don't mind for a minute that it turned out because I had a very close relationship with the girls, his mom is looking after him. "
You need to work on the trustee
Dad also takes his share of parenting
"After the birth of my twin children, I was very annoyed that my husband had little connection with the babies," recalls Lilla, the mom. "Our first child, Bron, was three and a half years old at the time, and I felt that the couple was almost exclusively concerned with him. The truth is that the baby boy was very daddy from birth, he only allowed me much, but it was just me. it's so hard to remember: I saw the tight ties between the boys, but it made me feel much less touched by the boys. "
Zsolt, according to the husband, is probably afraid that he has done almost everything with his son. "We got into conflict many times because Lilla made it difficult for me to deal with Baron almost, but it would probably have been different if the girls had been born first. I remember that My wife's disapproval is not motivated either, I don't think it can be forced. As the twins grew, they became more and more confused about communicating almost with their mother. My wife and I changed each day, one day I was anesthetized, the other day she was. But I told the story in vain, I couldn't kiss or caress them when I came out, their mother still had to go to her, "says Zsolt, the problem escalated between the ages of three and three. According to Lilla, it was at this time that her boyfriend was determined to change.
"My wife and I talked a lot, trying to find a solution together. In the evening, I told them interesting stories, and whispered in my ears, and I started to process, but I did not let go. .
With Lill today, both of us think that despite the fact that their son is still older and the girls are more maternal, they all have an equally intimate relationship. "Children's trust needs to be worked on," adds dr. Battonyai Tünde. But it is important for parents to support each other in restoring the relationship, working together, as the three-child couple did. Even if the little ones have a sense of parenthood, it will be a lot easier for everyone.